I have not been doing so well in the working out/eating well department as of late. Since June I've been off and on at the gym, more off than on. While I have been trying to eat clean, I've been back at my habit of eating sugar more often than not.
It's a mixture of being exhausted, busy at work (now it's slowed down), personal commitments outside of work and just plain lazy. The last thing I want to do when I'm tired is head to the gym. I think between June and now I've been to the gym a total of six times.
I'm also having muscle and joint issues in my right leg (MCL/ACL is stretched to the point where my knee cap has moved to the left of that leg, it's off center - I've had this issue since I was a kid) and for the weeks I went to the gym four days straight, I almost damaged it... overworking it. My physiotherapist said to scale back on how many days I'm in the gym and keep the walks to outside for 10 minutes (I've been walking on my coffee breaks at work), I also have to do some stretches.
I've gained weight, I don't even want to know how much weight I've gained. I'm afraid to step on the scale. Actually I did mid-July and it said roughly five pounds, which isn't too bad.
I'm very disappointed in myself, but I am not going to beat myself up over it. We all have our down points and failures. It's getting back up that is the true test. I've been back on clean eating this week and I am really proud of myself. I've been trying to eat less of the foods that trigger weight gain/bloating - sugar, preservatives, coffee, caffeine, salt. If I want candy or a can of regular soda, it's restricted to one day only - a cheat day. (I purchased two bags of gourmet popcorn last weekend and they're still full! I've only had a bit).
I also feel, I don't know... it's hard to describe. I want to say afraid, but I'm not sure if I'm afraid of the awesome changes that will come. Not even sure if uncertain is the right word. I know there's someone out there who understands and knows exactly what I'm going through.
I hope I can get myself out of this funk soon. I love going to the gym and the feeling I get when I work out is incredible. I love seeing the progress and the weight coming off my frame. I look great and feel great.
I'm working on building myself up to get back in the gym (hopefully four times a week). I hope this funk doesn't last too long, I need to whip my butt in to shape!